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May you find yourself in the world…and may you enjoy the company!
quote:
I will break through the illusion of helplessness


You know, Inda, I think you have done it again. It can be difficult to balance giving my body the extra rest it needs right now with keeping my energy levels up enough that I don't spend all my time in bed. And after that little bout of dehydration, it seems that I had kind of given up on having energy to do much of anything. Until I read your post today. I turned the lights up, put on some music, and got a couple little chores done that I had been putting off. That was fairly early this evening and I am still feeling good.
Susan

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  • ANGEL
I promise, I won't overdo it. Believe me, my body won't let me these days. Even the little chores I did the other day were things I could mostly do sitting down. I do what I can around the house, but Billy does the lion's share of the work around here.

Joie and I were talking about that on Chopra the other day. I don't think the caregivers for seriously ill people get enough credit. When we go out, everyone makes this huge fuss over me. I really wish they would send some of that his way. He deserves it so much.
Susan
Sending more prayers to you and Billy.

I am going back to the Philippines for a month, but my prayers will always be with you.
See you in February. Have a wonderful holiday season and all the best for 2007.

Love,
Vicky 2Hearts

The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around.... Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing.



~Larry Dossey
Last edited by Vicky2
Continuing to send healing love energy to you and yours. Hug

quote:
Originally posted by dear Vicky2:
The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around.... Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing.
Amen and Awomen to that!

Love and **LIGHT** **BEING**, Teo Do (Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, TeeeeeEEEEEEO!) Hearthead Hearthead

Soul Energy Healing

Have the heart of a gypsy, and the dedication of a soldier -Beethoven in Beethoven Lives Upstairs

Last edited by Teo
All these prayers must have been working overtime this week. When they did the bloodwork Monday my white blood cell count was down to 1.8. So on Tuesday, after my chemo, they started me on a 3 day round on Neupogen. It worked much better than last time. My count went from 1.8 to 11.7! In 3 days. I couldn't figure out why I was so tired this week. Now I know. I was working so hard! My arms and legs are still pretty achy, but that should be gone in a day or two.

The tiredness really go to me for a while this evening. I started getting this feeling that I was always going to be tired--even when the treatments are over. I know better. I was just so worn out that I wasn't thinking clearly.
Susan
Dear Susan,
You are healing. You will be less tired and soon you will feel pohysically much stronger.

Have a Merry Christmas and a much better 2007 than 2006.

Love,
yoko
-----



If the eye never falls asleep,
all dreams cease by themselves.
If the spirit retains its unity,
all things are of one essence.
When this essence is seen,
in an instant we are free.
We return to the origin
and remain that which we are.

- Seng-ts’an (d.606)

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  • zen3
Christmas day is over. It has been a lovely day. Other than cooking a special supper, we didn't do anything out of the ordinary today. I've been weak enough the past few days that it just wouldn't have made any sense to plan festivities. But it was okay. I guess going through this bout with cancer has really changed my priorities. It was Christmas even without the presents and tinsel. Billy and I spent a quiet day just being together. Knowing how easily that might not have been so made it all the Christmas present we needed.

I got a card and letter from Louis. My only real disappointment today was that I can't get the phone set up for him to call until after the first of January. I hated the thought that he is there in prison and couldn't talk to us on Christmas day. However, I did get a wonderful early Christmas present from him. He may be getting out sooner than we thought. The 85% rule went into effect AFTER he stole Mrs. Fuller's purse. Which means he may only have two years left. It's even possible that he may be paroled before that.

Shawna called yesterday and we had a wonderful conversation. She and the kids are all doing well. Hopefully, we will be going out to see them this Spring. And her father got her a digital camera so I should be getting more pictures now. That will be fantastic. My grandbabies are growing up so fast and I'm not there to see it.

Phyllis and Judah came by yesterday. She loved the necklace I got her. Was wearing it when they left. And Judah had fun with the bean bag bear I got him. We had a really nice visit before she had to go to her Mom and Dad's. I count the fact that she and I have stayed so close way up there on my list of blessings. Truthfully, it wouldn't surprise me a bit if she and Louis got back together when he gets out. She knows I love faeries and gets me one every Christmas. This years is sitting on the shelf above my computer, her little feet hanging over the edge. She is simply beautiful.

It's been a day of quiet blessings, perfectly suited to my abilities right now. And just now I got another blessing. This is the first year since my Mother died that I didn't fall apart at some time during the Christmas season. If nothing else did it, hearing Elvis sing "Mama liked the Roses" always made me bawl, at least the first time I heard it each year. It just played and I didn't cry. Yes, my eyes are wet, but there is also a smile on my face at her memory.

I seem to have the bronchitis back under control now that I am taking the Benadryl again. I went to sleep easily around 11 and woke up at 2. I started to go back to sleep and realized it was only an hour until I was supposed to take another dose so I went ahead and got up. Now it is about time to lie back down.

It's 3:22 am on December 26th. Happy Birthday Mama. Your little girl is doing just fine. I love you and miss you with all my heart.
Susan
Dear Susan, Thank you for the update.

I am glad that you had a nice Christmas.

The fact that your son may be able to leave prison sooner than expected is a wonderful gift.

Your mother is with you, wherever you are.

Enjoy the rest of the holiday season, and get as much rest as possible.

Love,
yoko

I found these fairies on Givnology on another post, and thought you might enjoy them. They are good fairies and bring you energy and good luck.

Dear ((((((((Susan)))))))) may you enjoy these days in the awareness that you are divinely guided through the labyrinth of challenging events and that you are heading towards perfect wellbeing.


Drops of love

are absorbed

by every cell

of your body.

And Love's effect

is wholeness

and healing.

Open to the shower

of Love.


Sending you much love.
Margherita Hug 2Hearts

It's kind of funny, in a way. Mama is actually closer to me now than when she was in her body. Bodies have some built in limitations. Now she is only a thought away at all times. Even though I know that, and am grateful that she is out of the suffering of depression, I WANT MY MAMA!! In the flesh. So she can hold me when I'm scared. But it is a comfort to constantly feel her presence. And, I am glad that she is with me during this cancer from the perspective of eternity rather than being here physically. She would be so worried and upset. Instead, she is in a place where she KNOWS that whatever the outcome, it will be alright. Who knows, maybe it is her voice that keeps telling me that I will heal from this.

My seventh treatment starts tomorrow. I've been so tired lately, I am actually looking forward to the steroids that come with it. At least they do increase my energy levels. Don't worry, I still won't overdo it. But I love feeling a little more like my old self.

I know I've said this before, but I don't know how I would have gotten through this without all the prayers that have held me up. Thank you.
Susan
I'm MUCH BETTER today! Since I couldn't take the Tessalon Perle and Nyquil or Robitussin were only helping a little bit, Dr. Winkler (one of Dr.Conkright's partners) prescribed Hycodan and IT WORKED! I even got a decent night's sleep.

My blood counts were all good. There were a couple that were maybe a tenth of a point low. They don't even consider them a problem that low. That can be natural fluctuation.

It was so good to wake up feeling like myself again. I can deal with the normal chemo fatigue. I just pace my activities so I don't get too tired. While I wasn't even getting a good night's sleep, my activity was pretty much limited to reading and some time on the computer. And I was so tired when I would start those that I couldn't do much of them. Today, I've been up for two hours and I still feel good. Isn't it amazing what a little sleep can do?
Susan
Wonderful news, dear Susan.

Be soft in your practice. Think of the method as a fine silvery stream, not a raging waterfall. Follow the stream, have faith in its course. It will go its own way, meandering here, trickling there. It will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices. Just follow it. Never let it out of your sight. It will take you....Sheng-yen.

Have a happy 2007.

Love,
yoko

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  • zenbuddha
Dear Susan,

Thank you for the update. The news is certainly getting better.

My prayers for you will always be there.

Wishing you, Billy and all your loved ones a Happy New Year.

Love, Inda
**********

...You will perform miracles in the state called divine consciousness. This is the state of pure creativity, in which you fuse with God's power, whereby He makes worlds and all that happens in those worlds. This power comes from nothing. God does - it is just His light of awareness. Like a rich, golden glow, you will see the divine awareness shining through everything your eyes behold. The world becomes illuminated from within, and there is no doubt that matter is simply spirit made manifest. In divine consciousness you will see yourself as the creator, not the created, the giver of life, not the receiver...

Deepak Chopra

Thec Way of the Wizard

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  • rumi2a
Last edited by Inda
My small chemo tomorrow and a CATScan on the 10th! I told them at the doctor's office that it was going to be clear!

Now I've got to take a nap. I skip a couple doses of my Benadryl during the day so I have some time without medicine head. lol Yesterday I was feeling so clear that I forgot to start back on it early in the evening. By the time I remembered (around 11pm) it was too late. Even with the codiene, the cough kept me up all night. I'm one tired little puppy today.
Susan
The chemo went fine yesterday. It wasn't as short as I would have liked. My potassium was low again so they put me on a four hour potassium drip after the chemo. I've got to start back taking my potassium tablets. I haven't had one since I got choked on some food Friday. It seems that large pills scare me right now. Shoot, it took me two days to get over my fear of eating!
Susan
You are doing great, dear Susan, even though those therapies are tough. I also have fear swallowing big pills, but I also eat fish very carefully because I fear the fish bones, and generally I hate to open my mouth for fear of anything getting in that should not! I think this fear goes back to my youth when I always moved with my bike and fast too ... so while breathing heavily, mosquitos flew into my mouth!!! And once on a birthday party a friend of mine made a bad joke: she asked me to open my mouth, that she would put in something very tasty, but I needed to have my eyes shut. "Now close your mouth" she said and ... I had a peace of soap between my teeth!! From that moment on I never opened my mouth for anybody anymore, not even with open eyes!
Sleep your restoring sleep. May the cough finally stop! Take some honey with warm milk too, it is calming.
Sending you all my love and a big hug.
Margherita Hug Kiss

I finally took one of the potassium pills today. It went down just fine. I've never been bothered by pills before, but after that choking episode last week I guess I'm a little paranoid. lol

I certainly got plenty of sleep today! I went to bed about 11 last night and slept most of the day today. The only reason I am up now is to give myself time to drink a few glasses of water so I don't get so dehydrated. When I woke up tonight my lips were all dry and chapped feeling.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and concern through this. It has helped so much.
Susan
Dear Susan,

I am glad that you caught up on your sleep and that you were able to take your pill.

I will be going to Hawaii until the end of the month.
I will not be using a computer while in Hawaii, but know that my healing prayers and positive thoughts will be with you every day, until I get back.

Love, Inda
**********

Nature is one of our greatest healers.
There is healing in the wind, the sun, the moon,
the stars, the ocean, the stones, the songs of the birds and the flowers. It is only for us to trust this is so and allow ourselves to receive.

Hawaiian

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  • SUNSETPALMS
Good Morning Angels! Angel2

It's been an interesting week. Times of being sicker from the chemo than I have ever been and then times of feeling absolutely great! Unfortunately, most of those times when I felt so good showed up in the wee hours of the morning so I really didn't get to take much advantage of them. Laughing

In some unexplainable way it feels like my body is rejecting this last chemo. Or trying to anyway. I find myself wondering if it isn't my body telling me, "Hey, Dummy! The cancer is gone. Why are you letting them keep doing this to us?" Confused

My CATScan is tomorrow. Here's hoping we can keep the cough under control long enough for them to do it. For those of you who have never had that particular little pleasure, you have to lie perfectly still, flat on your back for long periods of time in this contraption that looks remarkably like a coffin. And you are dying of thirst because you can't eat or drink anything between midnight and your CATScan. So I will be even more prone to coughing because I am so dry. Bang

Oh well. When Dr.Conkright gives me the wonderful news that the CATScan is all clear, it will all be worth it, right? CoolDance
Susan
Dear Susan. Absolutely right. When you get the news that the CATscan is clear, it will all have been worth it and we will all celebrate. In the meantime, don't worry about the cough. Just keep thinking good,calming thoughts about being well again. I shall be thinking about you tomorrow. Sending you love, Sue. Hug
quote:
Originally posted by dear Sue 1:
Dear Susan. Just think, you may have a new career running in the next Olympic games with all the steroids you are taking!!!! But as you say,if they make the cough go away, that is what matters.

New event for 2008 Olympics,

PROFESSIONAL RUNNING AROUND!


Leading contendor:


Susan 'Losgann'


Continuing to send love and prayers, Teo Do (Re, Mi, Fa, So, LaaaAAAA!!!) Beethoven Violin Doggy Hula Dancers CoolDance CoolDance

Have the heart of a gypsy, and the dedication of a soldier -Beethoven in Beethoven Lives Upstairs

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  • HONOLULU
Last edited by Teo

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