Hello dear friends,
Now that our present situation is becoming clearer and that I need to plan for my family's future...I have made a list of what I am asking the Universe and/or God to provide for us. Since I don't have any savings no more (used them all last year when we bought the house)and that I only have a part-time job from home since the last two years, my main issue is a financial one. I know that I can handle the daily routine of family life by myself.
I am asking the Universe to be able to sell our house and make a profit out of it, before we move the kids and I, so that I will be able to put some money aside.
I am asking the Universe/God to lead me to find a very decent and nice apartement to rent, that I can afford which means that it should not be more than 30-35 % of my monthly income. I would also like it to be close to their dad's and grandma's place.
I am asking the Universe/God to provide me with a job with a decent salary...either work more hours for my present employer or have another part time job to make ends meet or find another job elsewhere but full time...so that I can pay the rent, the bills and have some money left over for savings and outings.
I am asking the Universe/God to support me especially when my fears take over my faith. May the Universe/God send me clear signals that we are being taken care of. May I always see and feel that I am not alone and that this difficult time will pass.
I need all my energy to move on and for this..I now allow myself to forgive Martin and I and will do my best to create the best climate possible between us because neither of us want to fight but do things correctly as we go through the transiton of living apart.
May the children feel loved by me and our family and friends and may they feel safe during this transition as well. May I find the correct words to comfort them so that they won't put all the blame on themselves for the situation. My oldests often feel that Martin never really accepted them as they are and they say that this is why it's hard for them to be close to him. Of course my kids have their shortcomings as all humans do but he made lots of comparison between them and his daughter, and this in front of the kids and my family. I never had any complaints about my children from teachers, or monitors at summer camp or even friends that had them over for a day. In fact, I have been told mostly good things.
To me it is not the kids faults if they were not able to fully feel close and comfortable with him. The fault lies on him and I, for not seeing that we are too different as "parents" to be able to raise the children together. He keeps saying that I am too tolerant and I find him too strict and rigid in his ways of thinking and acting and this not only with the children.
Now, as far as still see each other after we live separatly...I need guidance in this. Some friends feel it is egoistic of him to believe it could work because it would prove that to him the children were his main problem and other friends think that it might work because there would be less friction between him and the kids and they might enjoy again spending time together.
I need to see clearly in this so this is why I am asking for guidance.
Again, I thank you all for your love, prayers and support!
Sylvie
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