As a child I went through some awful things. After many years of prayer and a lot of help from my husband, I have been able to let most of it go.

This morning I received a phone call from a family member, informing me that the one who caused so much pain is now dying.

I have been searching my heart and soul for some kind of emotion, but I don't care. It's like I am completely devoid.

I deeply love my husband and children, so I know I have the ability to care about people, but in this case, it's almost as if I am dead inside.

Does this make me a bad person?

Dazed and Confused,
Lynette

Welcome to givnology, dear Lynette! It’s great to have you here too!

No, you are not a bad person, because you don’t feel saddened because that certain person is dying … I imagine you have detached emotionally from this person a long time ago. So that's why you feel empty.

Your prayers and your husband Gary have helped you to heal from childhood wounds you say. If these prayers included forgiveness for the one who caused the pain, you surely experienced relief. True profound peace can enter our hearts only if we are able to forgive those who have harmed us.

To forgive means to be fully in harmony with Heaven’s laws. After forgiving we will be able to love even those who hurt us. Even through pain we learn our lessons and we become more sensitive and can help others with pure unconditional love and understanding.

I know the powerful impact of forgiveness. I had nightmares even after the death of a person who had hurt me when I was a child. When I finally was ready to forgive, the nightmares stopped and my heart felt light.

Recently I read somewhere something like “The act of forgiveness weighs heavily on us, until it’s over”. This is so true!

Whatever you have gone through, you have learned the lessons, dear Lynette and you have been able to love and to shine, because your beautiful soul was not affected by those events, even though your heart was heavy.

You don’t need to feel sad for that person, but if your heart finds the strength to accompany that person with a prayer it will definitely have a healing effect for you.

Love and Light, dear one.
Margherita

Forgiveness by Christine Peloquin

Dear Lynette,

This too holds something.

Even this "complete devoid" is full of
meaning and compassion.

The void does not mean absence from the heart...only the distance we need to heal and be healed.

There are layers yet to be revealed.
Perhaps the layer of emptiness is the thin flesh of a deeper healing yet to be.

Give it time.
Honor your feelings...even what feels like emptiness.

There is no need to face the expectation of
what is and what isn't.
Face only what the moment holds...and allow the heart to
expand when it is ready.

It will.

Love,
Eric

Hi Lynette,
No, this doesn't make you a bad person, some things are hard to forget and forgive. They can cause so much damage that it can take years to release it, things may come up even after they have been buried deep within us. My son is suffering some issues with his father that I am afraid he may also get to this point. He loves him tremendously, but his dad continues to hurt him. Even with all this, I am indifferent to the man. If he should die before me, I will feel no sorrow, only for the hurt he causes my son. My heart is with you,
Sending my love,
Sandy

Dear Lynette...

As Eric said be with what is, holding no judgement towards your feelings. Just be aware of them and let the healing be.
This is about letting go...again.

My heat goes to you.
Sylvie

Dear Lynette,

Open to your healing powers, your ability to heal yourself and those around you. Receive this gift with joy; share it freely with all you meet.

Open to your healing powers and you will cherish your past, all you have gone through & done.

Who you are is love. What love does is heal.

Love
Vicky

Firstly,

A heartfelt WELCOME!!!



2ndly,

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sandy:
No, this doesn't make you a bad person, some things are hard to forget and forgive.

---

You are not a bad person.

Perhaps one shouldn't stick one's nose into someone's business, you nose, he he.. and of course we don't know THE WHOLE STORY, so don't quote me! he he..

But you asked, very pointedly, so I'll give you my 2 cents:

If you fool me once
It's your fault.

If you fool me twice,
It's my fault.

There are VEEEERY good reasons for "defence mechanisms" to protect our loving hearts and feelings. If it isn't time to go relive the experiences that beat up your feelings, it isn't time to go relive the experiences that beat up your feelings.

I think you are very smart to listen to your sensativity in this case and just.. be quiet.. who knows, someone could take you through the same pains you went through, and it could be AWEFUL having to tell people why you are hurt, at a time like this, eh?

Hey, "A Bad Person" would just gloat! You are not a bad person. And as self-proclaimed-king of this Givnology thing, I say you are using compassionate people to explore various dimensions of what you are going through - you are using us as friends, confidants, ears to listen, shoulders to cry on, and boy oh boy do I think you are A GREAT PERSON to let us share our ideas and caring words with you. There ARE angels among these discussion forum members! So "light on sister!" and feel free to let us into your compassionate questionings. You will find amazing loving wisdom on these boards..



Muuuuch love to you all for your oh so kind replies to dear Lynette.



Hoping to hear more from you, and wishing you and all of yours the absolute best...

Love and light being, Teo

Margherita, Eric, Sandy, Sylvie, Vicky and Teo, I would like to thank each of you for your responses. The wisdom in your words is sinking into my brain, and you have helped more than I can say.

Again, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.

And Teo, you make me smile.

Love to All,
Lynette

Dear Lynette,

You are not a bad person.
Don't let your ego control your feelings regarding this person who did you so much wrong. Wish them a peaceful transition, and let it go.

Love, Inda

Dear Inda,
I had not thought about it as being my ego that was holding on to it. But now that you mention it, I think you're probably right. Wow. Thanks for opening my eyes.

Love,
Lynette

Dear Lynette,

I am sure that your eyes were open all the time.
All of us worry ,from time to time, what the others think because we are human.We often forget that our own feelings and intuitions are the only things that matter. At the ego level humans struggle to solve their problems. Spirit has no fear.

Having said all this, "You are a good person."

Love, Inda